I Don’t Like Candy Corns
Thank you to Moose A. Moose for that title.
I have never really been a fan of Halloween. It’s not really because I’m all anti-Halloween because I think it’s the devil’s holiday or something, I just don’t like it. I do NOT like being scared. Ask The Husband. He has made me shriek just by walking into a room without my noticing. One time before we moved, he came into our walk-in closet a little too quietly while I was in there, and I nearly impaled him with a hanger. (It was plastic, too, that’s how scared I was.)
Anyway. I don’t do well with even commercials for scary movies on TV, or the ones for those freaky nights that are offered at theme parks. I think I mentioned this before, but I dared to watch Scream in the theater when I was in college, and I’m sure my roommate didn’t appreciate me turning on the lights when I got home and leaving them that way after I got into my bed. To this day I can’t look at that mask in the stores without cringing.
And actually, our church did Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames a few times, and for some reason I always was cast in a role that got sent to Hell. Always. Anyway, they used those masks for the demons, and I promise you those were REAL SCREAMS as I was being dragged away. I am pretty sure I left claw marks on the guys’ arms who were playing the demons. It totally freaked me out.
Now, I actually think the dressing up part is kind of fun. I do remember being Oscar The Grouch one year, I think I was 5 or 6. So you know it was one of those plastic costumes that smelled really funny, and the mask with pinholes to see out of. I think that was the first costume I ever had. The last year I recall dressing up, I just wore a top and poodle skirt from a dance recital I’d been in and was a 50s girl. Anything in between, I can’t remember. Either my entire young life was spent feeling so-so about Halloween, or I just didn’t have any remarkable costumes.
Strangely enough, though, the older I got, the more I wanted an excuse to dress up.
And now, there is one.
See, friends are having a game night the night before Halloween, and it’s going to be a Costume Night. Costumes are MANDATORY. So I’ve been looking for something that The Husband and I could do as a couple as far as costumes.
I have a question regarding this — are there ANY non-sexy costumes for adult women?? I mean, if I want to dress up for The Husband when we’re alone, that’s one thing. But, hello, I’m going to be among friends. I’m not sure I want to be wearing a miniskirt with fishnet stockings and 4-inch heels. Especially if I’m dressed as a nun. They’ve even taken DOROTHY from The Wizard of Oz and made her PG-13! That’s just wrong! And I’m still wondering how they can put sexy in the description for an Olive Oyl costume…
… Right here I was going to put This is going to be harder than I thought, but I was afraid a fan of The Office would comment with “That’s what she said,” so I’m going to end it just like this.