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September 16, 2009

You can’t tell, but I’m whispering. 

I don’t want anyone to know I’m in here.

Illnesses have run rampant, and it’s caused my workload to increase.  First, I was working a little more often in childcare at church.  Then my own girls were sick.  Then I was sick.  Then The Husband got sick.  He is actually still sick.  He’s well enough to be out of the bed, though, and he is currently playing Pretty Pretty Princess with the eldest daughter while I type softly. 

I haven’t been in any mode other than mommy for a little bit now.  Even my Wife role has been transferred to a Nurse role — and I don’t mean that in any kind of sexy way, either.  Because phlegm ain’t sexy.  (The word itself doesn’t even look sexy.  Phlegm.  Yuck.)   I did have a few hours to myself last Friday… But that was because I was at the doctor’s office and then waiting 45 minutes for my prescription to be filled.  I also had some time to myself yesterday, but that was when I had my appointment with G-Doc.  (That’s short for Girl Doctor, which is to spare me from saying g-y-n-e-c-o-l-o-g-i-s-t.  Shhhh.) 

And tomorrow is Big Sister’s birthday.  She’ll be 6.  And yes, true to my mommy nature, I am totally reminiscing about what was going on 6 years ago today.  I am also thinking about how I looked 6 years ago.

You think I'm joking.

You may be laughing, but that picture is pretty darn accurate.  That is what it looked like when I was pregnant and headed toward food.  It was like Moses parting the Red Sea.  And if I was hungry enough, there were probably also people screaming in terror.  

Here are some gems I heard while I was pregnant:

  • Fatty Fatty, two-by-four.  (I read the rhyme that goes with that — it’s disgusting.  Had I known that then, I may have sat on the person.)
  • Did you spend a little too much time in the buffet line?
  • I heard that when a woman is pregnant with a girl, the baby steals the mother’s beauty.

Here are some other things you should never, EVER say to a pregnant woman:

  • You must be about ready to pop!
  • Oh my gosh, you still have another <insert # here> month(s)?
  • That baby must be HUGE!
  • Are you sure there’s only one in there?
  • Should you really be eating that?

There.  Now you’re in the know, and less likely to have a very hormonal and heavier-than-usual woman burst into tears at a comment you’ve made, or sit on you because you’ve angered her.

That’s all I have for today, because my nails are kind of long and they’re making a lot of noise, what with the click-click-clicking against the keys.

And I’m hiding.  Shhhhh.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 16, 2009 4:57 pm

    HEY NESSA! WHAT UP, YO?!??!??!?!?!!!!!!

    you can come spend time with me. but that would take away from your “me” time. anyway. that was a funny read. also. i think we broke up.

  2. September 16, 2009 6:21 pm

    HAHHHAHA this was good…sorry the fam is sick, and I hope you escape it but man…sounds like we could have been twins, and we could have had a lot of fun, sitting on people together…

  3. Carrie M. permalink
    September 16, 2009 7:52 pm

    LOL. yes I did.

  4. Vanessa's mom permalink
    September 16, 2009 9:21 pm

    The picture following “I am also thinking about how I looked 6 years ago ” was priceless. Made me laugh out loud. Or LOL like Carrie said.

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