Note To Self
July 3, 2009
Note to self:
- When that time of the month comes around, it might be best if you lock yourself in a room for a couple of days. Because during that time, there’s just no telling how you will act. It’s like the estrogen gets together and spins a wheel to determine if you will be slightly moody, weepy, or cranky and hostile. What’ll it be this week? the little estrogen monsters ask as they gaily dance around the wheel. CRANKY AND HOSTILE! Woo-hoo!
- You cannot even watch the first five minutes of the movie Scream or you will have nightmares.
- Do not ever sign Winn up for this show unless you want to see this woman come to harm. Or unless Winn says she wants a new wardrobe.
- Find out if those are actually gray streaks in her hair. Because if that’s the case, you can hold off on getting a part-time job to cover the cost of coloring your hair since you found your first gray. Because if she has her hair like that, then it has to be fashionable, right? Since she’s one of America’s premiere style experts — so sayeth the website.
- A quick Google search indicates she may have had that gray streak since she was 12, so she’s had more time to get used to it. Reconsider the part-time job.
- Keep an eye out for more grays. The first was just a scout, but hopefully being yanked out by the root was a fair warning to send to the rest of them. They will die quick and painlessly unless they decide to attack in larger numbers, at which time chemical warfare will be utilized.
- Determine what caused your aversion to raw meat, vegetables, and eating your own cooking. Although, this is probably the best diet you’ve ever been on, and it makes The Husband happy to not have to come home and cook, so maybe it isn’t all that bad…
- Go to bed. You have a busy weekend ahead of you, and you don’t want to let the estrogen monsters scare away all of your family and friends.