The Unfortunate Unexpected
A little over three years ago, I was sitting on our couch mindlessly putting together invitations for an event I was hosting. It was pretty late, and The Husband had been in bed for a while. All of a sudden, I heard a commotion from the hallway, and there was The Husband. He was practically crawling out to the living room, doubled over in excruciating pain.
This was actually the second time this had happened. Two weeks prior, he’d nearly fallen out of the bed with this same pain. We’d actually dialed 911 and he got his (surprisingly) first ride in an ambulance. It turned out the culprit was a kidney stone, and he was sent home to wait it out. He waited and waited…
And then, two weeks later, problems arose and we ended up back to the hospital. Turns out that stubborn little stone decided it liked The Husband’s insides so much that it embedded itself, and the doctors decided they were going to go in and retrieve it. Which they did. However, they also “nicked” his bladder and peritoneal cavity.
What was supposed to be an outpatient procedure turned into a nearly week-long stay in the hospital’s PCU. Tubes everywhere, morphine drip nearby, then complications following for nearly four months afterwards.
So. Later today I will go in for a simple outpatient procedure. Can you see why I might have some anxiety? Not only that but, as I mentioned before, I have heard my fair share of horror stories regarding this procedure.
I could play the “What If” game. What if something goes wrong? What if they nick something? What if they have to take extra things out? What if they don’t find anything wrong at all and I have to start over altogether?!
Sitting around trying to dissect each and every worst case scenario is exhausting and pointless. Especially if it leads to stressing out over these things that might not happen at all. Especially if these thoughts consume.
Last week during Bible study, I read something that brought this home for me. This is an excerpt from the Beth Moore (ohmygosh I LOVE HER) study, It’s Tough Being A Woman:
…the enemy and our own self-destructive natures combine to taunt us with ‘what ifs.’ Once we are in Christ, Satan has no authority to destroy us, so he settles for the next best ting: threateningto destroy us. … Our natural human defense is to grovel before God and plead with Him not to let those things happen. Our conditional trust not only makes us an open target for enemy torment; it also positons us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children who trust their lives to their faithful father.
Sure, I want everything to be okay. Actually, I want for them to go in, find endometriosis, clear it out, and move on. But whether they find nothing, or some unexpected unfortunate situation arises as it did with The Husband, I will trust that God is a whole lot wiser than I am and knows why it happened, what’s going to happen afterwards, and that He will help me work it all out.
He certainly has before. I’ve never been able to worry myself out of a sticky situation or outright problem before, but God has proven Himself time and time again.