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Gloom, Despair…

February 24, 2009

gloom… and agony on me.

I get down, I get blue.   Sometimes I think things just plain suck.  But I can’t stay like that.  Why?  Because there’s this impossibly chipper voice deep inside of my head saying, “You’re too blessed to be depressed!”

The most annoying thing about that voice is that she’s 100% correct.  Sometimes I am able to subdue her with chocolate chip cookies (last night it was Girl Scout cookies — there is no winning against Peanut Butter Patties) and whine to a friend, my mom, or maybe even The Husband.  But you know what?  When I whine, I never feel better afterwards.  After a good vent, yes, that clears the air.  But not after whining.  See those guys in the picture?  Whining didn’t do them one bit of good either.  Every week, there they were — all “woe is me” in their fabulous overalls.  (And don’t hate on those overalls, because you know if you’re in your 30s you probably wore them at some point… and you weren’t even pregnant!)

Something I believe my dad taught me was that it is really easy to see the negative in a situation, or a person.  It was always a good idea to look for the good and focus on that.  I don’t remember if my dad made me do it, but I recall saying something negative about someone (if it was my dad, that probably meant it was my sister), and having to say three kind things about them. 

So what kind things do I have to say about my current state of affairs?

The Pain has returned.  Yep, that sucks.  However…
1. We have health insurance.
2. I like all of my doctors.
3. Of the two things that could be causing the problems, neither are serious.

The Husband and I had a disagreement last night.  But…
1. The idea of apologizing for my contribution to the disagreement no longer makes me cringe. 
2. I now realize that as awesome as The Husband is, he is still human and will make mistakes.
3. The Husband has always realized that I am human and will make mistakes, and has loved me through them.

So things aren’t all bad.  Sure, it would be great to take a Darvocet, curl into the fetal position and lay in bed all day, forcing The Husband to work from home and take care of the girls at the same time, thinking the whole time it was only fair after last night’s argument.  It’s in me to do those things.  But they aren’t going to make me feel better.  Handling the situations — calling the doctor’s office (again) and making up with The Husband — makes more sense, right?

But I can tell you that I would’ve taken the other option before.  What a waste of time and energy.  Sure, sometimes you just have to have a good cry, or vent, or just take it easy in general.  But getting nothing done, pouting, feeling sorry for myself?  Yuck.  What was I thinking?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Sonya permalink
    February 24, 2009 8:33 pm

    Hope things get better, Vanessa!

  2. February 25, 2009 3:57 pm

    Our whole bible study today centered on this; not complaining and how when you do it relates to lack of faith…it was a rockin’ lecture! And you are right on track girl!

    Praying for provision and healing!


    We were told it’s ok to cry and plead and blubber to God…as long as we ask for His help…

  3. Jen permalink
    February 26, 2009 4:52 pm

    The Girl Scout cookies were a good idea. I ate a box last weekend.

  4. Katye permalink
    February 28, 2009 12:29 am

    I wore overalls, and I watched Hee-haw. And I still have the overalls, and it’s been less than a year since I watched Hee-haw again! And I’ll admit it.

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