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Get your flirt on…

January 21, 2009

With your husband.  Seriously.

I was watching The Bachelor last night (I *heart* DVR), and Bachelorette Stephanie got a chance to talk to Bachelor Jason outside before The Rose Ceremony.  Their one-on-one date was basically a playdate because he (or, the show) brought her daughter to meet them.  It was the daughter’s 4th birthday so they went and played at Legoland.  I don’t remember if the adults even were able to manage a chaste peck on the cheek since the daughter was present, so when Stephanie talked to Jason outside she took the opportunity to show him that she was much more than mommy.  While I’m sure this made viewers and critics uncomfortable, I was thinking, “Dang!  Not bad!”  Because while she was kissing his face, she was kind of breathing into his ear her thanks for the day, etc.  And then she got herself a real kiss.

And she did all that even though she’d already received a rose on their one-on-one (plus one more, since her daughter was there) date.

Then I opened up The Love Dare to do my reading for the day.  Love takes delight.  The devotion talked about how newlyweds take delight in one another.  Obviously, I know that fades over time when you’re married.  I know that.  Been there, done that.  But it doesn’t have to totally be thrown out the window, does it? 

Bachelorette Stephanie, having already received a rose, meaning she would live to see another Rose Ceremony, made an effort.  Even though I have earned my rose, gotten my rings, etc., I need to make an effort.  To take delight in this man that I married. 

Did you flirt with your husband before he was your husband?  I was actually kind of rendered flirtless by The Husband, to be honest.  Which was weird, because one of my previous dates had declared me a “natural born flirt.”  But still, I remembered some of my “moves.”  They were quite simple, really.  Listen when he talks.  Make eye contact.  Laugh when he’s funny — sometimes when he’s just trying to be.  Make physical contact during conversations — touch his hand, his arm, etc.

How often do I do those things now that I’ve earned my rose?  Do I busy myself when he’s telling me about his day, how his team is doing, about something he read or saw on TV?  Do I even look up when he talks to me?  Do I roll my eyes when he makes a joke?  Do I touch him in a loving, caring way (uhm, outside of the bedroom)?

I want to be the one, the only one, making The Husband feel like he’s someone worth listening to, worth watching.  Worth making an effort for.

I want to flirt with The Husband.  Why does that have to stop?  Not tease, mind you.  (I’ve been told, by The Husband using a reference from Everybody Loves Raymond, that you don’t start the launch sequence if there isn’t going to be liftoff.)  But what’s wrong with a little flirting??  I’m going to do it.  So if you know me in real life, you’ve been warned.  I plan on flirting with my husband and generally taking delight in him, and that includes outside of the home.  Or at least trying to.  But if it works, well… I hope to not make you uncomfortable.

I have to go now.  I’m still struggling with the fact that I kind of learned a lesson from something on The Bachelor.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. soundsliketomatoes permalink
    January 21, 2009 5:04 pm

    Wow, who knew something worthwhile could come from The Bachelor?

    When I want to flirt with Lance, I will stare at him until he looks at me and I say with a totally serious face,”You’re a bad girl, you make me hot.” (I totally stole that from The Family Man)

    It works like a charm.

  2. January 21, 2009 5:43 pm

    Me and hubby totally flirt, even after 18 years! There are parts of our teen dating days that are still around, and it is f.u.n.

    We have always made it a priority to respect each other, not to tease in a mean way, and to communicate when things are going wrong, or, could just be better. A wink, hug, joking together and just being in each others’ company in a relaxed way (no shop talk: kids, bills, etc) does WONDERS for when the kids are alseep, and you and hubby are… “watching TV” 😉

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