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Parlez-vous le maris?

January 8, 2009

We have lived in this apartment for two and a half years.  In that time, we have had three neighbors directly next to us.  When we moved in, there were two or three Asian students living in the apartment.  After they left, a French couple took over.  The husband was transferred before their full year was up, and soon some Arabic students were moving their things in. 

I am aware that my neighbors probably had a pretty firm grasp of the English language, but it seemed to me that they were comfortable acting otherwise.  I was comfortable with it as well.  I was able to get away with just quick hellos on my way up or down the stairs, I didn’t have to stand and chat for long periods of time.  That’s why I don’t take the dog out for walks, because other people with dogs want to stand and chat.  I still don’t talk to strangers.

But still, if my neighbors had wanted to strike up a conversation with me, they probably could have, and I would’ve known them a little better.   I took French in high school, I suppose I could’ve made a very, very weak attempt at communicating with the second set of neighbors, just to show I wasn’t a total snob.  (Which I can be.)

The Husband speaks a different language.  Men speak a different language than women in general.  Dr. Emerson E. Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, speak about this at length in their Love and Respect book and conferences. 

Last night someone was referencing this topic, and she said, “If Vanessa speaks German and I speak English, we aren’t going to be able to communicate.  But if Vanessa learns English or I learn German, the doors are opened.”  Sure, it’d work better if both sides were striving to make it work, but the ball can get rolling if just one side makes an effort.

If there is a failure to communicate within my marriage — and yeah, it happens — should I be sitting around waiting for The Husband to learn to speak Wife/Woman?  Should I just sit there and grumble about The Husband not understanding me?

Or… Should I try to learn Husband/Man?

I choose to try to learn and understand his language.  And who better to help me with that then The One who made him, right?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 8, 2009 6:51 pm

    i am in awe. that was a nice lead into your meaninful post. i have nothing else to say because i am not good with the sap sap sap.

    maybe i should learn to speak it. the sap.

  2. Jen permalink
    January 11, 2009 8:11 pm

    hm…..this gives me things to think about. I better learn husband/man language…..although, I really should get better at my spanish too so I can communicate with The Husband’s family, right? 🙂

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