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F is for Fornication

November 10, 2008

It got your attention, didn’t it?

I’m going to go all Southern Baptist on y’all and give you the four F’s that I found frequently throughout my featured friends’ tales of clean living.  What kept them on the straight and narrow?  What kept them from hopping into a bed prior to their marital one?  Let’s find out.

First and foremost, their faith.  My faith was definitely the number one reason I decided to wait.  ~  It was my faith, for sure…  ~  Primarily it was my faith.  ~  Because the Bible said not to.   They believed that God designed sex for a married man and woman, and they didn’t want to go against that.  It wasn’t only their faith they attribute it to, though.  I am fully convinced that God protected and preserved me, at least in part, because my mother-in-law-to-be was praying faithfully for me for years before she knew my name.  Hear that?  As you pray for your own children to make wise decisions, it’s not a bad idea to pray for their future mate as well.

Because my parents told me not to.  ~  Another factor was my parents’ example.  Both of them waited (even though they did not grow up in Christian homes)…   ~  I had been taught by my parents all my life that the right thing to do was to wait to have sex until marriage…  ~  I waited because my parents instilled in me the importance of waiting…   Moms and dads, your children are listening!  Talk to them, be open with them — don’t shy away from these discussions! 

I had great friends growing up, especially in high school, who held the same values as this and we were a good support to one another.   ~  I was in a crowd that mostly respected that decision.    ~  I avoided crowds that thought that way {picked on people for their virginity} and chose friends that had just as strong a commitment.

There was a time when I surrounded myself with good influential people.  It was easier then.  There was also a short time period where I hung around with people who were into having sex and partying, it was harder then.  So for the majority of my life, I stayed away from those people and that environment.  The church youth group and being involved with that helped tremendously.

These people chose friends that would support their decision.  When they didn’t, it was more difficult to stick to it.  Try this sometime.  You stand on a chair, and have a friend stand on the floor.  Try and pull your friend up.  No matter how hard you try, you probably aren’t going to get them up there with you.  Now have your friend try to pull you down to the floor.  You’ll be side-by-side with them in a hot second.  It’s a lot easier to bring someone down than pull someone up, so be around others who are going to uplift you.

Good, healthy fear.  They were scared to death of the consequences… pregnancy or STD.  ~  I was terrified of being a pregnant teen or getting pregnant in college and not finishing.  Also, the thought of having to tell their spouse that they didn’t wait.   I kept reminding myself what if, just what if, something happened to (him) and later on down the road I met someone and was going to marry them and had to tell them that I loved (the first) enough to wait for (him), but I didn’t love the new guy enough to wait for him.

“Why wait?” is the question.  “WHY NOT?” is the answer!  Wouldn’t you rather take a One-A-Day than a once-daily Valtrex?  Get paid to babysit when you’re a teen rather than work to pay a babysitter?  Experience the first time with someone who has made a commitment to you in front of God and witnesses?  Understand that “practice makes perfect” applies best when you’re practicing with the same person for the rest of your life?

And when these prudes were asked that they had missed out on anything by waiting, their answer was unanimous:  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Now, you could argue that since they’ve only been with one man, they might not really know if they’re missing anything, but I can pretty much guarantee you that in this case, ignorance is the best kind of bliss there is.  Why would anyone want to try to take that away from someone, though? 

Besides, if there’s a chance that you’d find out that the man you married was the best you’d ever had, there’s also the chance to find out that he wasn’t.  Who wants that in the back of their mind?

The pros outweigh the cons.  It takes a stronger person to say no in a situation where they have a choice.  Be strong.  Be smart.  Because, really, the only true safe sex is no sex.

Until you’re married, that is.  Then you can go crazy.  It’s encouraged.

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