Adventures in Virginity
Many, many thanks to those that have been willing to share their own adventures in virginity with me! For those of you that just skimmed that post (tsk, skimmers), if you are willing to answer some questions about why you waited to have sex, or if you are in the process of waiting for your wedding night, please contact me at muchmorethanmommy(at)gmail(dot)com.
I wanted to post a public service announcement of sorts. Because I remember being a young, impressionable girl. I remember hearing a lot about waiting. I heard all the reasons to wait, and they were excellent reasons. I heard how beautiful it would be when it was right, and I wholeheartedly believed it — and have found that to be true, by the way.
I heard about how basically all physical contact led up to sex. Though it was severely mocked, one guy on a video talked about the “biological hand grenade ladder” — once you take one step up, you just want to keep going. So don’t get on the ladder. (For weeks, maybe months, after that, couples would hold hands and those of us who had seen the video would gasp at their taking the first step on that ladder. We were joking.)
I got it. All roads led to sex, so don’t get on the road. Boys are the gas, girls are the brakes. Understood.
What everyone failed to mention was that maybe, just maybe, even though I was a girl, I might have the desire to hit that gas pedal from time to time.
Granted, for quite a while the life of a prude worked for me. My first kissing experience obviously didn’t leave me wanting more. The first time an attempt was made for second base, several errors were made and the player was called out. I spent a great deal of time wondering why anyone would want to make out. Seriously, that worked for me.
Alas, one day there was a kisser without fangs. Then kissing didn’t seem so bad. But only kissing. That was it. Everything else was uncomfortable and awkward and practically unpleasant.
Those were the good ol’ days.
I remember how absolutely shocked I was the first time a guy made a play for second and my internal coach was waving him on. WHAT?!? That was not supposed to happen! I was supposed to be appalled! Offended! Disgusted even!
Yeah, not so much.
Thankfully Someone was looking out for me and I managed to stay out of trouble for quite a while.
But really, nobody ever, ever told me I might actually enjoy the kissing and the more than kissing! Why didn’t anyone warn me??
Anyway. Adults. Leaders, mothers, fathers… Let’s be honest with our kids and prepare them for what they’re going to encounter. Tell them why 2 Timothy 2:22 says to flee youthful lusts (or, for that matter, lustful youth) — FLEE! That’s the only way to keep out of trouble. Don’t go dancing up to the line to see how close you can come before you cross it. That’s. Just. STUPID. And dangerous.
The pros obviously outweigh the cons when it comes to abstinence, but if you’re on the edge, you’re probably not using your brain so much at that time. Don’t get yourself into a position where you are face-to-face with the decision. And believe those that have gone before you when they tell you it’s worth waiting for.