I never finish anyth
(Yeah, that’s a flair.)
It occurred to me that I’ve never seen a significant relationship through a significant hardship with significant success. Affair, marriage ended. Abuse, boyfriend broken up with. Even in my younger days, there was no making things right — was it worth the time and energy for a teenage romance?
Well, I’m an adult now and I’m married. There’s no affair, there’s no abuse. There’s just life. Life and estrogen. Mostly life, though. He has a job, I have children to raise. He has obligations outside the family, as do I. Every marriage goes through its ups and downs, right? Every marriage. That would include mine. There are times when things just feel off and not right. Unsettled. Or distant. Or both. It would be so easy just to meander through my daily existence, acting like I don’t notice that we don’t make time for each other like we used to. Blaming all of our adult responsibilities for not having a date in a while.
Sorry, that won’t cut it for me.
Is that how it happens? Is that how people who were once in a totally loving marriage get to the point of giving up? I’m not doing it. No freaking way. I’m not going to forget that God brought us together and there was no denying it when we got together. Because did that change? HECK NO! We are still the same couple that God wanted together, and it’s up to us to remember that even when things are off, weird, distant, or worse.
The movie “Fireproof” is coming out in a couple of weeks, and I’ve been reading a little about it, and I know we’re going to go see it. If this movie has half the heart that “Facing the Giants” did, then the message will come through loud and clear. I’ve read about this thing they talk about in the movie called “the love dare” — cheesy, maybe, but probably more effective than anyone wants to admit. How hard would it be for a husband to perform one act of love a day for 40 days? How hard would it be for a wife to take The 30-Day Challenge?
To make it extremely personal, what I have to remember is that The Husband and I are only human. We are going to miss the mark with each other over and over again. I think that as long as we’re making the effort, though, that counts. A lot. I am 110% committed to him and to our marriage, to our family and to our future. I’m going to do the challenge again. I’m going to be constantly on the lookout for the things he does right rather than dwell on where I feel unfulfilled. The Husband isn’t there to fill every hole in my soul — I’ve got Christ for that, can I get an amen? He’s not going to always know the right thing to say or do — this isn’t a book or a movie, there’s no author to write lovely things for him to say or a script for him to go by. Men sometimes show love in different ways. Time for me to pay attention.