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A Huge Row

July 30, 2008

That’s British slang, and row rhymes with cow, and it means argument.  Thank you, Sophie Kinsella, for introducing that terminology to me.

It’s 3:30 in the morning.  I haven’t been up this whole time, though.  I went to bed really early actually, and was awakened by a daughter who’d had a bad dream.  After holding her for a bit and then bringing her back to bed, I couldn’t get back to sleep because The Husband and I had a huge row discussion fight over something rather innocuous and I couldn’t (obviously still can’t) stop thinking about it.

The subject itself wasn’t worth getting heated over.  Most of them aren’t, right?  How many times do he and I get all bent out of shape over something small?  But it’s not really the subject matter that brings out our passionate tempers, it’s our failure to communicate effectively.  It’s how we both immediately go on the defensive when approached with something we aren’t familiar with or don’t agree with.  It’s our failure to listen to one another — really listen, not just hear the words while formulating a response.  That’s not listening, that’s just waiting to talk. 

It’s funny, we squabble a lot and most of the time it’s in a playful manner.  When we have fights, though, we go big.  Oh, so big.  I think if we fought more often we’d probably do something about the communication issue.  But it’s rare, so after it happens and we’ve made up, we forget about it and move on.  That’s a good thing until we have another hot topic (or a lukewarm one that we just disagree on) come up and we’re both surprised with how quickly we go from starting a simple conversation to ending World War III.

Ah, the beauty of a blog.  Written here for all to see, and as a personal reminder to myself to figure it out.  Until, you know, I go to Manage, click the box to this entry, and hit Delete.  Because after it’s over, there is very little desire to return to the scene of the crime and risk having another heated debate over what makes us get so heated in the first place.

Vicious cycle, that’s what it is.

The bright side: having a fight means having to make up.  Rock on!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jen permalink
    July 30, 2008 8:36 am

    Oh, it all sounds so familiar…..

  2. Sarah permalink
    July 30, 2008 8:45 am

    This hits close to home – too close. 🙂 I had to laugh though at your making up comment at the end – knowing how you like to make up 😉

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