Okay, so this is kind of going in the parenting zone, but it’s my blog, so neener-neener-neener…
I get Parents magazine, I have since our first was born. I usually enjoy it. However, there was an article in this month’s Parents that really, really got to me. It was “What Your Doctor, Babysitter, Preschool Teacher (And All The Other Pros In Your Life) Really Want You To Know — but wouldn’t dare tell you to your face!”
One of their commentators was just classified as a “parenting expert,” and he/she had this to say:
Becoming a parent is like contracting a debilitating disease. Imagine a disease where you couldn’t sleep, you couldn’t have sex, you couldn’t travel, you had aches and pains all the time. Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. In fact, the more you love them, the harder it is. Nobody tells you what the pull of loving your kids will do to the rest of your life — including your relationship with your spouse. Even if you had a relatively healthy sex life before kids, after the second kid it’s just kind of done. There’s not always as much love to go around.
WHAT THE FRENCH, TOAST?!
Okay, Johnson & Johnson is 110% correct with their slogan, “Having a baby changes everything,” but to call parenthood a debilitating disease? Seriously?! My mom told me that when I had my second, the love in my heart wasn’t going to be split between the two kids, my heart would just grow to make room for more. THERE’S PLENTY OF LOVE TO GO AROUND! Even for, believe it or not, The Husband! That’s right, folks, I can love The Husband and two children all at the same time!
And even with two kids, my sex life is FAR from “done,” thank you VERY much! I think that area has done nothing but improve — after all, practice makes perfect.
That just irritated me. For anybody reading who is not yet a parent or is soon to be a parent — it’s NOT a disease! You will still have some control over your life! The love you have for your spouse, it was a decision in the first place and you just keep making it on a daily basis. Even when she hasn’t moved from the couch in two days because the baby’s hit a growth spurt and is eating all the time. Even when he hasn’t changed a poopy diaper in three weeks. Even when you’ve both been awake for what seems like a week (or maybe it has been) and you don’t ever think you’ll sleep again. This too shall pass.
One day that little baby is going to turn into a young man or woman with a life of his or her own. If you give up on having enough love for your spouse right after the kid is born, that will be debilitating.