But wait! There’s more!
My past is a cautionary tale.
Failing to heed the guidance and wisdom of my parents, my friends, and even several acquaintances, I wound up married at 22 to the man of my nightmares. I made a poor choice, and I can tell you without any hesitation whatsoever that God was trying to spare me from this disaster, but I ignored Him at every turn.
Mercifully, everything went badly very quickly. Before the wedding he could put up a great front most of the time, enough for me to have some hope. After it was official, no dice. Very quickly I became educated on pornography (900 block on the phone, password for the cable box — don’t even get me started on the internet) and the fact that it is an addiction. (Please don’t argue that point with me, or I will go crazy white girl on you.) Very quickly I became educated on what it was like to live with an alcoholic a drunk (he didn’t go to meetings). The first clue should’ve been his downing Nyquil before bed every night, huh?
By the time we reached a year and a half of wedded bliss (or a bodily fluid that rhymes with bliss), I suspected he was having an affair. As most women are in these cases, I was correct. There was a mild confrontation, there was counseling that was a joke to him, there was a divorce. Then there was an incident and a restraining order, and some light stalking a while later.
IF THERE’S A DOUBT, DON’T! I don’t care if you’ve been dating him “forever” (whatever that is to you), I don’t care if you’re newly engaged, or you’re on your way down the aisle. Drop him, and don’t look back. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Now, I wish I could tell you that I’d learned my lesson. I wish I could tell you that the next two years were spent following God and finding His plan for my life. But no, I celebrated the divorce by entering into an abusive relationship. A relationship that my gut (i.e., the Holy Spirit) and two friends that I’d asked to hold me accountable advised me against. Several bruises, two black eyes and a busted lip later (not to mention numerous clumps of hair), God gave me the strength to leave. Again, the time spent in that relationship was mercifully brief. I wish I could tell you that the next year was spent following God and finding His plan for my life. I’m human though, and I had my ups and downs.
Usually this is where someone will say that if it hadn’t been for these things, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
I respectfully disagree.
With all my heart, I believe I would have met The Husband had I not married The Wolf and gone down all of the (broken) roads I did. I even know how it would have happened. I would have finished my degree in Elementary Education and, being the hometown-loving gal that I am, I would have gotten a job here. I would have worked at the same school as The Husband’s mother. She would have fallen in love with me — I’m basing that on previous experience, I’d always done pretty well with the moms. She would have found a way for me to meet her son. The first thing I would have noticed was his gorgeous blue eyes. You know where it’s going.
God had a plan for me, and I’m the one that took some serious detours. Everything in me believes that for some reason God showed me more grace and mercy than I can comprehend, and He allowed me to find The Husband, or allowed The Husband to find me. The Husband is everything I ever wanted in a man, and I almost wound up (twice) with so much less.
Proverbs 1:7-9 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.”
If you don’t have wisdom being dispensed by your own family and friends, you can borrow my mother’s teaching. Save yourself from being a fool.